Almost every day, we are bound to witness young women being harassed by men in our beautiful Ethiopia. Our women continue to endure constant disrespect and unsavory sexual harassment. Different women deal with it differently, yet somehow, they seem to courageously persevere through it all.
A few days ago, I was waiting for a line-taxi a little after 9pm. Considering the late hour, the probability of a taxi coming through was low. I figured, I would just walk home or get a contract taxi along the way.
Soon after, I realised I was not alone. A young lady, who was also waiting on a taxi, had given up on her wait and decided to walk home.
What was peculiar about it was that, she was walking close enough behind me, yet she kept some distance between us. When we approached others along our way, she would pace herself closer as though she was walking with me.
I suppose that way others would perceive her as being with me. She would then increase the distance between us again, especially in some quieter areas. I was sure she was using my presence as an opportunity to avoid unwanted attention from others, while at the same time keeping her distance from me for the same reasons.
I continued walking in front of her and at some point I wanted to turn around and say to her, I would be happy to walk her home if she would like. Despite my good intentions, I was not sure if that would comfort her or scare her even worse. I felt uneasy about turning around and looking back or making any abrupt movement for the sake of her peace and security. I also realised, for her, most of the young men or group of men she came closer to, were a potential threat, whereas for me, I saw them as fellow young men.
I can never fully internalise what it is like to be a young woman in this city but I sure hated the thought of experiencing life from her perspective of that moment.
Eventually, after about 10 minutes of walking down the main road, she turned into one of the residential streets. I felt confident and relieved assuming that she safely reached her intended destination.
Yet, I remained depressed to think what our women – sisters, daughters, girlfriends, fiancées or wives have to endure. I could imagine the sense of insecurity and fear they feel on a daily basis caused by men.
I must have walked for less than two minutes before I noticed a man holding a different young lady by her wrist on the sidewalk of the road along my path. The man did not seem aggressive and the tone of his voice suggested of gentleness. However, watching her try to get him to let go of her hand, it was clear his action was not welcomed.
I was not certain what would be the appropriate action for me to take, so I decided to just stand a little farther from them. I stood watching without intervening, readily prepared to somehow be of support should the situation escalate.
The man refused to take no for an answer and he persistently demanded her to walk with him or give him her phone number. On one hand, as an observer I felt agitated not only at his unwanted intrusion and harassment but also at the level of comfort he seemed to exhibit- completely relaxed while holding a young woman against her will on the sidewalk of a busy road as though he was doing nothing wrong. On the other hand, the fact that she was able to maintain her composure and endure the harassment with grace genuinely confused me.
I heard her repeatedly expressing she was not single and that she did not currently have a working phone. I thought, perhaps they both knew each other and she was not threatened by the man. That would explain why she was not screaming or raising her voice. Or perhaps, could it really be, that this type of harassment was nothing new to her?
Luckily, he finally let her go, and I continued my way home.
I would like to kindly put forth two simple requests to all the men here in Ethiopia, Ethiopian or not.
I would like them to ask the females who are dear to them if they have experienced sexual harassment.
Ask them when, and how.
Listen, and ask for details to learn as much as possible.
My other request is that the next time you see a woman being harassed, think of your mother, your sister, your significant other or your dear female friend in the place of the female you see or hear being harassed.
Does it make it harder to contiue being indifferent?
I am sure many of us remember the despicable crime committed against Hanna Lalango back in October in Addis Abeba. The 16-year-old Hanna was kidnapped on her way home from school, gang-raped and left to die from the crime.
A lot of people were enraged to hear of such a heinous crime in the middle of Addis. What we must accept is that the problem is not an isolated incident. It is deeper and more pervasive than we care to admit. As a result of gender inequality, gender-based violence is embarrassingly high in Ethiopia.
There is no lack of criminal laws or constitutional rights for women. There are, however, cultural barriers that we must first overcome. For us men, trying to internalise gender inequality and attempting to understand the problems that ensue, are fundamental steps to eventually minimise the problem.
Solving great social problems requires collective public action. We must teach one another and our youngsters that all humans are equal and are to be respected accordingly.
Equal treatment of our women and our men is not some sign of generosity. It is because they are our equals in every way. Nothing more, nothing less.
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